I found my black dog :) and I shall call it blackie

Stumbling out of a series of ongoing personal cases, which seem to have no conclusion and which never seem to end, I was not a person to surrender and give up easily. I pushed on with life. An attempt to be a half-baked investor in a friend’s startup business turned me, as a matter of ad hoc expediency, into a stand-in bike delivery boy.

I found myself doing door to door delivery for this friend’s food start up business. This ordeal lasted a whole ten days and about a hundred deliveries i guess. It basically brought me to my knees. My body surrendered and I came down with flu (heh heh what’s new? ) and after two weeks of being put out of action, I had to end my involvement and I arrived at some conclusions myself about many things.

The going on the roads over the ten days was so tough, my 3 year old Bajaj Pulsar just gave up and stalled on me on one night. The cause was overheating. I had run almost 160km that day. 4.5 continuous hours on the road. My arms hurt, my butt hurt and my ego wounded. The bike had failed me. I just sat down on the kerb by the road and faced my own thoughts.

Has anyone ever tasted what is it like to be a despatch rider at 36 years of age as a matter of choice? Similar to the kind McDonalds use to send food with a huge thermal bag on bike right to your doorstep. Was it something that i could not take or bring myself to do? I seriously had to answer that myself.

Running around East Coast GRC making food deliveries was something that no electorate would expect of their previous opposition candidate .

Running around with my Bajaj and later my Shadow, i was always had a little fear about being recognised. One close friend and supporter had reservations when i told her what i was doing. She had remarked “Don’t you think that it is a little unbefitting your status? Somemore, it would look bad that the PAP gets wind of it and takes it up in the next General Election to slime you of being a deliveryboy.”

My answer to that was “Firstly, I cannot let three or more other friends’ venture fail simply because they did not have anyone to help them cover the vacuum, Secondly, i do not know when the next GE was. Thirdly, I might not be a candidate in the coming GE. Fourthly, people might not recognise me at all.”

Secretly, i was actually a pervert. Not the Tiger Woods kind though. But I actually wondered if indeed people would recognise me, in fact i relished the thought of being seen in that light. Perhaps to elaborate, being in the service line was nothing new to me. And no I was never a Singapore Airlines Flight Steward, though my ex-wife was a Singapore Airlines Flight Stewardess. I was actually a Bellhop at the Laguna National Golf & Country Club at the Club’s front desk sometime from 1996 till 1998 during the school holidays.

Getting unpleasant remarks for lateness in service and feeling the tempers of dissatisfied customers was nothing new to me. However, this was a little different when i became a lawyer. I realised that i seriously had no qualms about telling clients off if something they did or said did not agree with me. Rightfully so. This is because when you are dealing with the law, the application of rights, the question of morals and ethics was something that cannot be compromised.

That, however, was not the only reason. There was a thing called EGO that was lurking in the background. As a lawyer, you are accorded status. you are accorded respect. You have the right of audience before the Courts. This did something to many lawyers in Singapore. Not only was ego inflated, the sense of right and wrong was sometimes also blurred when pride gets in the way.

I had wanted the exercise of doing home deliveries to see if people recognised me. I think a couple of them did. I remembered making one extremely late delivery to Haig Road on one of the chaotic nights. The customers were rather peeved and irritated. In fact they had called to cancel the order jast as i reached the place. They had a party and some of their guests had left.

Imagine standing at the door, facing the gaze of disapproval from the many guests in the huge huge house. Dripping wet on your raincoat on the outside. Reekingly wet with sweat under your raincoat on the inside. The client had no reason to pay or oblige me. In fact was thinking to myself that i should just beat a quick retreat from the embarassing situation i had gotten myself into. Things changed very quickly though. Perhaps, it was the colour of my skin, my tone and surprisingly grammatically correct English that surprised them. Perhaps i was not the usual despatch rider. Perhaps i was recognised but the sweet thing was, the lady reached for her purse to gave me payment and accepted the delivery. Due to a breakage in the packaging, i gave her a discount.

Heading back to base, the bike stalled. I left it on the roadside and sat on the pavement waiting for it to cool down. Buses and cars whizzed past. The bike had failed me. and though it was pleasant to have been treated differently on one of the deliveries, i decided against risking another bike stalling that might delay some future delivery.

I managed to find someone interested in my bike. It was a swap situation, i was to swap my 3 year old Bajaj Pulsar for a 13-year old Yamaha XJR400R. I had to top up the other party abit and also i had to spend money to get the bike repaired. There was something not too right with its carburettor. The bike sounded like it was about to die and it spewed black smoke. The kind that would send the Inspection Officers under LTA into convulsions and fits. It was not fit to be on the road.

So in the midst of tending to my cases, i had to take some energy to find a friendly mechanic who would spend time to isolate the problem plaguing the famed bike. It spewed smoke whenever the throttle was turned up. When the first mechanic opened it up, darkened spark plugs came into view and he clucked his tongue “tsk tsk tsk tsk”.  The bike was then hospitalised for a week. At the end of the first week, the bike was discharged but the problem was not solved.

I was quoted S$800 for a complete carburettor replacement. Even then the parts were not available in Singapore.

A friend helped to make some enquiries with his mechanic and the word came was for me to send the bike there for a checkup. Now i had always wanted to avoid this mechanic. He was an old man. I did not avoid him because he was old. I avoided him because in one of my earlier bikescapades, i had come down with a pratricularly problematic but lovely bike. I got the bike cheap but as the repairs were chalking up, my friend had insisted that i go to his mechanic friend because he was sure that it would save me money.

However, when i reached there the first thing what my friend did was to extoll my political exploits – my contest in the last elections, my status as a lawyer [and interestingly I was on a cheap bike] and my penchant for repeatedly finding half-wrecked bikes to fix.

I remembered the old mechanic smile at me kindly and decline to charge me anything after that. Acting on my complaints, he adjusted the brake and clutch lines on my SR125, tested the engine and refused to charge me.

Now everyone wants to save money, but i was not used to taking advantage of people at all. I avoided the shop after that because I felt strange.

My friend dragged me back when he found out about my expensive adventure in a sick and smoking Yamaha XJR400R. I hesitated. I said i was not comfortable about people not charging me. I feel i would be making them prone to abuse by others if i were to condone the behaviour. As it turned out, i found out from my friend that this was really a friend friend thing not to charge because he had previously tutored the mechanic’s son for free for a number of years.

Therefore, the bike was brought there and left there. After the same parts were dismantled, the problem was finally isolated. In the carburettor, 3 out of 4 diaphragms were torn. The mechanic called the agent Hong Leong and was told that the parts were not available in the whole of Singapore. Thankfully my friend did not give up. He called up all the parts suppliers of Hong Leong. We found at one shop only 3 pieces of the diaphragm. These parts, plastic, metal and rubber bonded together to look like a mushroom cost a whopping $83 per piece before GST. Seeing the coincidence of the universe, that i had 3 diaphragms torn and needed replacement for 3, the entire Singapore had only 3 left. This was a sign that the parts were meant for me. This was also a sign that the bike was meant for me. I paid the shop and troubled my friend to bring it to the mechanic.

The parts were replaced in a day and on Friday i received a call that the bike was ready for collection. The repairs were done at a cost of S$100/-. Amazing! This was certainly better than the earlier mechanic who had to charge me S$190 for his efforts but had failed to rectify the problem.

Since Saturday morning, i have been taking the Yamaha XJR400 through the paces all over Singapore. Running my errands, clearing my mind. One thing i noticed however was that the Yamaha engine growls. It growls like a dog waiting to attack. Not sounding exactly fierce or ferocious as how one would describe an R1 or Hayabusa but somewhat meek and nice in a way. Like a timid dog pretending to be fierce before it feints an attack. Furthermore, it was also painted over in black in areas where it should not be black.

It reminded me so much of my beloved black dog – Blackie.

In short, that was how i scraped through another month of hell bungling with court proceedings, activism, my issues, emotions and problems (internal and external).

One might wonder why i someone like me, not perfect but very much flawed and human would have the luxury of troubling people to run my errands at times. People who openly express support and encouragement for the crazy things i do. People who would come all the way to my office to counsel me when i am too passive to seek help even though i needed it. He and another would be always listening and waiting to give advice on the side.

Friends who have repeatedly stated that they no qualms about volunteering to help me again when the next elections come. Friends who would drag their other friends and who would apply pressure on others to help me. The same friends whom i have not been diligent with in keeping up with. I have made mistakes but with them there is no judgment – only understanding. I myself wonder why as well.

The only possible answer can be found from another friend’s description of me “mistake prone, dogmatic, flawed reasoning, strange thinking, prone to firey tempers, impulsive, reckless, at times suicidal, but downright honest and genuine, someone who enjoys taking on bullies, someone who would not turn his back on a friend”. Which may be the very reason why my friends never turn their backs on me.

In the streets, avenues and expressways playing between Pasir Ris to Tanjong Rhu, I found a part of myself. I found  a deeper understanding of the dynamics surrounding friendship. I found a bike which i liked and which was destined for me and reminded me of my black dog that I have decided to call it Blackie.

This time round, on top of my renewed Honda Shadow 400,  i will keep this aged and growling Yamaha XJR400R. The 2 of them will keep me company on my journeys - they are so aptly named as my shadow and my black dog.

My critics and people who hate me will be proven wrong these days. When asked who is Chia Ti Lik, the answer used to be that I was concerned with only “I, me and myself”

These days the answer has morphed into ”I, my Shadow and my Black Dog”

Seventeen years on … The Same Road, The Same Reason

Seventeen years ago, i was placed at a crossroads. I was forced to decide for myself what i wanted myself to be. I took the hard choice, emerged stronger and more confident [well not really that confident yet cos i was a really timid kid in the past] as a result. Pulling yourself up from a life situation on your own through your own strength and through a good hard objective look at the facts does something to the ego within. It was not a bad thing, in fact it was good phase of transformation.

Seventeen years ago, I dived headlong into my taekwondo training. During that time i was in national service, to me life was then just camp, training and sleep. When i started school in NUS, life was school, training and the much needed bed and nothing else. It did wonders for my health, psychological well being, mental strength. I never looked during the golden years.

Then i made a very stupid decision when I qualified as a lawyer. Faced with pressures at work. I made one of my worst decisions in life, to cease the hard training i had to free up time for other pursuits.

Things went downhill eversince I guess. I used to be able to be very much self-assured, being totally unaffected by things and comments which occurred around myself. Since then i was caught in the swirl of life. My steps towards advancement and achievement brought me further and further away from self assurance to relying on the approval of loved ones.

Such a development makes one reliant on the opinion of others instead of being sure of what they are and what they want to be.

It is when people get cluttered with too many motives, too many distractions and too many concerns do they lose sight of themselves. I did.

Clearing out my wardrobe yesterday afternoon, I found my long unused Taekwondo uniforms its about time i went back to training. I did. And now i am aching all over.

We are here … because we chose to be here

Thats the answer i got from reading a book.
Inevitably, we are the ones who chose the paths that we are treading on now. For everthing that each and every human being faces, there is essentially no one else to blame except ourselves. That’s the negative and pessimistic way of seeing it.

Opportunities for growth would be the positive way to call it. There are lessons in life to learn as we do with each passing day.

There are no problems but merely opportunities for us to chose what we want to be in relation to what we are facing.

Life should be lived for the purpose of growth. AND Growth comes about from the way problems are dealt with.

That is easier said than done.

What cannot be denied however is that until the growth is achieved, the life lessons continue to be repeated, the lessons continue to be repeated because we have not learnt enough to progress to the next stage and we remain stuck in our patterns.

And if we fail to learn our lessons in this life. We return for the next to repeat the same lessons in a different context.

Perceived problems cause us to react from instinct and response. We react because we fail to watch ourselves and our thoughts.
The longer and more repeatedly we fall prey to our own reactions, we lose the opportunities to clear the lessons we were originally poised to learn.

And when a life is spent without progress in the way problems are dealt with and responses / reactions checked – the lesson is not learnt.

Inevitably, we inadvertently choose to return to the path with experiences in store which cause us to react the most.

These are concepts which were long provided to me but which i took some time to understand.

Understanding of such a concept cannot come from knowing the words. Understanding comes from living the experiences in the words. Occasionally i do have glimpses of clarity to know that rather than taking time into the next life to understand the words, why not take a good hard look at our mental and emotional responses to things / events right now?

I did something odd yesterday and today. I rearranged my wardrobe and belongings. I realised attachment looked at and addressed transmutes itself to other forms of attachment.

Wanting to clear my heart and my mind, i set down to reducing the number of belongings once again.
Once again, I realise that I do in fact relish the idea of being possessionless.

I thought of many adages, and how true some of them ring over and over again.

To be willing to completely give up something, would you be able to truly possess it.

To be willing to live and embrace life – warts and all its attendant problems – to the extent of giving it up, would you be truly free from the worry of not having life and the fear of dying.

To be willing to be poor, actually enables you to feel rich.
To be willing to lose freedom, actually frees you from all restrictions.

To be attached to something, brings about opportunities of disappointment and dissatisfaction.
To be able to look into and beyond the trappings of everyday life, will enable you not to be shackled by them.

To be willing to die and / or lose everything, actually enables you to live life more fully.

To have nothing, enables you not to lose anything.

I cannot help but acknowledge the wisdom of the words ”there are no obligations but only opportunities”, “there are no problems but only circumstances”.

The Eagle has landed…. The Eagle has landed…. :) – Yes, it landed twice :)

Multiple meanings can be conveyed by the above phrase.

Many a time, we hear that as a cliched codeword in spy/comedy movies as in the phrase being used as a code for communicating that a long awaited contingency has occurred.

Of late i had been battling Law Society complaints, lawsuits, divorce proceedings. I also had a birthday which had had been the worst in my entire life. I had came under scrutiny for having dabbled in a few cheap bikes. I was made to feel as it the dabbling in the bikes was a heinous sin. I was also made to feel that I was the scum of the earth.

The Eagle landed on me twice during this period. No, I did not visit the Bird Park during my US trip in August. Nor did the American Bald Eagle try to lay its talons on me when i was a guest there. And no it was not the law soc complaints. And neither was it the lawsuits.

How then did the Eagle land on me twice?

Back home, we all know that the Eagles have landed. They landed somewhere in Idaho, USA where the F-15SG detachment training squadron is. Its all in the papers. All pomp and fanfare. Taxpayers’ money. That’s what its all about.

I have no complaints about the F-15SGs, I just don’t like how sometimes the deals are structured. The planes seem a little expensive to me somewhat…

Nevertheless, i will confess to my preoccupation with the F-15. The preoccupation started since i was a child. It came after I won a small 1/144 scale F-15A Tamiya model in a lucky draw of sorts. I was about 3-4 years old then. but I managed to put the plane together despite my age.

When i completed the plane, I proudly said to myself that I would pilot it. Big dreams i had.

Until then, the Singapore Air Defence Command [knowledgeable guys will know that it was not called the Republic of Singapore Air Force as yet then] was stuffed with stuff like hand-me-down Hunters, ex-USN mothballed Skyhawks, used T-33s, ex-Omanese battle-damaged Strikemasters, but at least brand new F-5E Tiger IIs. Singapore was through and through a 3rd world nation.

Short of becoming an Israeli, Japanese, Saudi Arabian or American fighter pilot there is nowhere i am getting near an F-15 Eagle. Or so it seems.

However, at the age of 4, i told myself there is nothing stopping our country from getting this plane.

At the age of 8, after staring wide eyed, speechless and transfixed for a many minutes, I went back to school and i insisted to all my friends that i had seen an F-15 roar over my home. Yes in Singapore skies. I got laughed at by all of them.

Several years later through careful observation i did find out that American planes did stopover in Singapore, P-3 Orions on maritime watch duty, C-5A Galaxies, C-144 Starlifters lifting God knows what stuff. I smiled to myself knowing that was nothing stopping an F-15 from dropping over when it had to.

I also did find out that our fighter pilots had taken part in the Red Flag Exercises in the late 80s and early 90s. Our Skyhawks and Tigers went side by side with F-15s. That fact brought the possibility a little closer – a little more consolation.

At the end of primary 6, after my PSLE examinations, being doomed to failing eyesight, the pilot dream was drifting further and further away but that did not stop me from rewarding myself with 3 model aircraft kits - all from Hasegawa. 1/72 scale models. I was only 12, I could not afford the 1/48 and 1/32 scale types.

The three were: An F-15C single seater, an F-15D twin seater, and an F-15E Strike Eagle. See the similarity with 3 bikes in the garage?

Mum discovered the boxes in my cupboard and thought i was mad. I was. I still think i am.

Now that the Air Force has finally gotten the F-15SG which to my understanding is an updated version of the F-15E, the thought of touching this plane and piloting it would be close to coming true. But then again i am not a pilot, so how can it come true?

Has anyone ever noticed that the Prime Minister and Minister for Defence can sometimes pilot our Air Force Fighter Jets under the watchful eye of air force instructors when they are not qualified pilots in the first place?

This now adds to my reasons of why the PAP regime needs to be overthrown. Now that the F-15SG in in our stable. Kicking out the Prime Minister and the Minister of Defence out from office would bring added personal benefits. The allure and temptation to ride this bird is something that cannot be underestimated. Talk to the pilots or aspiring pilots, they will tell you.

Now i did not intend to have my right minded political aspirations tainted by whimsical desires. Even though these desires are not necessarily bad in the first place and the people in office are also not necessarily good as well. However, as it is always better to declare it now rather than to be accused of later, when critics call my materialised visits to the F-15 squadron in Singapore as an brazen abuse of power.

Apart from childhood dreams and personal aspirations which may or may not come true, on the level of reality, the phrase “the Eagle has landed” carries special meaning and significance for me as well.

Battling bike repairs and offers from a tenacious dealer who offered to buy my Shadow 400 for export to India. I had deliberated with much angst about letting go of my best conditioned bike for some improvement in cashflow as well as an test of self-denial, relinquishment and detachment.

The cute thing about the Shadow 400 was that there was a characteristic Eagle head on the front wheel mudguard.

Riding along Cantonment Road about two months back, the Eagle head fell off onto the road with a full bodied metallic clunk. It fell off right in front of a crowd waiting for a bus at a bus-stop.

I had to hastily park my bike and run back 100 meters or so to the spot.  I ran back with my helmet still on. The crowd was waiting for my arrival and was smiling at me – not unkindly but kindly and amusedly. They had witnessed a bike falling apart whilst in motion. Commuters waiting for the bus were kind enough to pick up the Eagle head off the road so it would not be run over by the passing vehicles.

Recovering the Eagle head with an embarassing smile, i made no attempt to offer explanations as to how the Eagle head could have come off.

I could not have offered any explanations as to how the Eagle head came off. The crowd understood and smiled. No explanations were needed. The truth is – the bike was falling apart – there was no way to deny that.

I did had to endure some giggles but none of the giggles were the malicious sort, for there is nothing untoward in having a bike fall apart and there is also no one-upmanship to witness some poor biker’s Eagle head fall off and nothing to crow about as well.

I thanked the kind souls who reached out to save my Eagle. I had a good laugh at myself as i walked back to my hastily parked Shadow. I got the Eagle head refixed back soon thereafter at a cost.

Doing my careful calculations, I decided that renewing the COE for my shadow 400 and keeping it for good was the wise thing to do (for this bike was one with the best engine and physical condition I ever had – yes even though it had parts dropping off). I scrounged S$18/- for the vehicle inspection, S$61 for the road tax and another S$923/- to renew my Shadow for another 10 years.

I had thought to myself: Though this ride is not a Strike Eagle, it was firstly paid by myself – not paid for by taxpayers’ money – which is something to be proud of. Furthermore, in renewing the COE to keep it, I had contributed to tax with my money. Next, it was mine at least for the next 10 years without further payments to be made. AND LASTLY, there was also an Eagle head at the front. What more can i ask for?

There is nothing more blissful in life than to be wisely contented with what is truly yours is it not? Or so it seems.

And as if almost on cue, as i was riding to office this morning , the Eagle head dropped off again.

Latest! dropping into the depths of low life – Substance Abuse

I never imagined that i could stoop so low.

In fact though the signs had been coming… lethargy… depression… sloth… desire… craving … covetuousness … envy… all these point towards the gradual degradation towards the lower lifeforms where immediate gratification and sensual satisfaction take paramount place and higher ideals like transformation and enlightenment and contentment take back seat.

It started last month. I came under fire. Like silver under the refiner’s fire, i was crumbling and and deconstructing. I had a lawsuit, a divorce and two law society complaints raised against me.

In trying to raise cash for the divorce settlement, many things had to be relinquished. I had to cut my attachment to idle equipment lying around… summoned the courage to say goodbye and summoned the strength to cart them off to the dealer friends for consignment sale.

Then things got a little better. Like a rubik’s cube that needs some space and progress to set things right. My purification was gaining momentum.

Why do i call it purification? This is because though i have always conceded that any form of attachment is bad, I have always allowed myself some degree of room for indulgence. Until now.

Things have come to a head where, i cannot help be forced to let go. Finances and the need to raise money aside, i also needed to clear my mind. The state of a person’s surroundings and relationships is a reflection of the state of a person’s innermost issues, thoughts and wants.

How do you explain 3 bikes the garage? That indulgence was easily rationalised: one needed repair (Shadow 400 Class 2A) , one was functioning properly (Bajaj Pulsar DTSi-180 Class 2B) – at least, and one was an ideal (CB750 RC42 Class 2) an objective which needed to be worked towards.

BUT when there are 8 amplifier systems staring at you in the face at one point of time is there something wrong? There must be.

That prompted me to look at it hard. Then i realised. Attachment to things, material or otherwise is bad. Relationships, partners, image, public persona, reputation, two wheelers, handsome amplifiers all are the same. They serve to distract you from what you really are.

The only one probably attachment which is not bad is probably the one to my dog. My dog is pure and real. Genuine joy upon seeing me come home. Genuine expression of submission and surrender at every greeting. Contented with a good pat on the head, scratching behind the ears and on the snout. Nothing comes close to that kind of innocence.

I had then set about an exercise of letting go. Relinquishing objects and artifacts. Valuable or otherwise. The room cleared up abit. I felt a little better. Then it went on. I accepted an offer of $2700 for the CB750 RC42, the shadow 400 was scheduled to go to the workship if not sold. For a moment the garage looked empty. Like an old steam powered train churning back to life, everything moved forward. There was so much of relinquishment and surrender that everything became cleaner, clearer and less encumbered.

I moved from having no room in my room to getting some room in my room to getting good room in my room.

And then there was space.

And within that space, there was time.

At times, time seemed to flash by. At times, time stood still.

In moments alone on weekends, i face that space, and the time that stood still. Then there was the emptiness.

And that emptiness gnawed at me.

I decided that i should try my attempt at facing that nothingness and emptiness with everything i could muster. This translated to solitude on weekends, I avoided involvement and socialising and meeting friends. It became almost impossible for anyone to get hold of me.

Then i realised between that bed and the wall and the window was SPACE. AND That SPACE was all i had. AND That SPACE was freedom.

Freedom.

Then something changed inside. I developed a taste for something new. It came in the form of white powder and black powder. Heat had to be added and time taken to savour it.

I have had friends and associates hooked on it for a long time. I never gave it a try thinking that it was beneath me.

But the process of shedding possessions and denial and relinquishment and surrender took me to the point that i decided to give it a try.

Maybe it was because of the emptiness. Maybe it was the need to cling onto something – a crutch.

Out of nowhere came the urge to try. I decided to try it.

I tried it once and i was hooked. It started with one shot per day. Then two. Then three. Then four.

On some of my bad days, it was six per day. I had to have a shot before i could sleep.

I had to have a shot in the first thing in the morning before anything else. It is only with the 1st shot of the day does that 2.4km track seem surmountable.

I then felt a little ashamed of myself. This is substance abuse. This is something which should not have happened. 13 years of Taekwondo training brought me to believe in myself. Now, 8 years out of training and i am into substance abuse. That’s how far i have fallen.

As i am writing this post, i am gulping down another cup. Black Nescafe coffee with two scoops of Nespray milk swirling in hot water. This must be the ultimate.

I am fighting a losing battle. My addiction gathers momentum as the containers are being emptied. This addiction also brings me to the depths of pridelessness and deparvity. I fear for the worst forms of deprivation as levels in the container drop with each cup. AND I am reduced to begging my mother to get more of the stuff when she goes shopping.

One teaspoon of Nescafe coffee plus two scoops of Nespray milk is my latest addiction.

Unknowingly, in pursuing simplicity and frugality, i have slipped on the slippery slope of austerity and i have unwittingly plunged into the depths of the cheap and low life.

At this rate, and the depths which i have gone, there seems to be no possibility of a return.

At approximately 20cents per cup, this was CHEAP. AND This makes $2000 used amplifiers and $1600 used  motorbikes seem like a luxury.

Undeniably, this is the ultimate manifestation of my low life. To be engaged in substance abuse.

And in doing so, i did another first, I never thought it could be so cheap.

Contentment in a cup? I never thought i could be so cheap

Kwik Press – Fast money – Fast Backpedalling – Fast Cars (F1) – Fast Women (Ballless Men) – Fast & Loose

Am taking advantage of the Quickpress function to rush off a post against the establishment just to show that even with the vissicitudes of life bearing upon me, there are no shortages of mistakes made by the establishment on their part and no shortage of determination to gun them down on my part.

Of late the Sands Resort of extreme infamy has been towering in the Singapore Skyline. If there is any meaning in its near completion, it would merely signify the obvious and extreme about turns by the Singapore Government in terms of its policies and morals. As the 2 largest gambling dens on our island near their opening one must not forget that the Government that endorses the projects is the very same government that has prosecuted old aunties and uncles for participation in illegal gaming houses not too long ago. This occurred right up till the early 2000s – yes within this decade.

Despite so doing, this government has decided in 2004/5 to allow the opening of a casino despite its supposed anti gambling stance in the past. [I say supposed because even though there were crackdowns on illegal gambling dens, the Government has been gambling from day one, recall Singapore pools, 4D, Toto, Big Sweep and Turf Club etc etc not to mention the SGX and the way in which economic policies are formulated in the PAP leadership in Parliament]. And even when they gamble with our future and allow casinoes to operate, they put foreigners first. After many years of pretended celibacy, the government threw open the entrance wantonly to foreigners – yes foreigners.

They did not first legalise gambling houses and allow our local gambling dens to rise to the occasion and become casinos. This path if taken would have promoted entrepreneurship and experience amongst Singaporeans to possibly move on into the international scene. Such worshipping of foreigners over and above Singaporeans by the PAP is classic. Therefore despite the unconvincing assurances by Lee Hsien Loong about how the PAP will remember to put Singaporeans first, it should rather be that the PAP would push you first into the cauldron if someone is to be sacrificed, push you first into the frontline is someone is needed to die for this country and push you first bent over for the government machinery to screw you properly. The perennial and longstanding intentional holding back and vicious tripping over and deliberate insult must never be forgotten.

In addition to backpedalling on gambling and worshipping foreigners in the process, there are also other about turns, one that deserves quick mention would be the urgent need to impress the world by its fast headlong dive into embracing F1 with little thought given to its ills.

Now, embracing F1 is fine but one must also remember that this Government had the serious lack of foresight to allow a proposed racing track to be built where Laguna National Golf and Country Club used to stand. Favouring the rich man’s game over legitimate racing needs, the government rejected proposals for a purpose built racing track and instead preferred the idea of men clubbing off their balls into the distance and searching for them thereafter. Our counterparts in Malaysia – the Malaysians had a racing circuit in Sepang, Singaporeans drivers and bikers would go there for their fun. There was therefore a constant outflow of the tourist dollar.

There was a casino in Genting for eons. There was also a long standing outflow of the tourist dollar.

Now if there is any pressing need now to bring in the tourist dollar to the impoverished Singapore, it can only be interpreted as an admission that the policies administered by this Government have failed and the economy is rotting and its only a matter of time before the country collapses under the weight of its own mismanagement.

One might quickly question, why then did it take so long for the government to realise but yet when they finally do, they are so quick to overdo things?

One must never forget, in the near past, it failed to cut some slack for small time gamblers, yet the government has gone on to making Singapore home to 2 colossal gambling dens.

The stupidity of it all is this…. In prosecuting our youngsters who speed on Singapore roads….. rejecting legitimate proposals for a racing circuit off Changi Airport, they have gone on to legalising and legitimizing foreigners racing on Singapore soil, Singapore roads, and in the very heart of Singapore.

This is obscene waste of money in converting and deconverting roads for F1 racing [an immense undertaking] which is good for only a few days (now i hope none of this money is public money) and it also creates inconvenience to travellers, use of roads and economic losses for businesses affected by the road closures. The Government must be made to payback the road tax and ERP charges that the inconvenience and congestion that they have created in their attempt to glorify themselves to the international world.

This Government is an extremely shameless government. It has been in power for too long that it has forgotten where it gets its power from. Instead of bending over like a servant to our people, this government has no qualms about letting foreigners strut their stuff in our backyard with all the cost, inconvenience, risk to be borne by the Singaporean. At this juncture I must ask, in the event of a severe crash, who should be held responsible for the risk brought on to the public by racing machines which are endorsed by the Government to run riot on Singapore roads?

In as much as the cabinet now revels in their chance to glorify themselves to the world, may i ask which of our 31 ministers would be gutsy enough to step out and say [ahead of the event] that it is he and his ministry who is oversees the event and that he is puts his head [mind you please not his subordinate's ok] on the chopping block to show that the management of this risky and reckless event has been carried out with all the possible safety measures put into place?

To add further insult to injury, these foreigners will be running riot on Singapore roads, and our Singapore police force will be cordoning off our roads for them. Making sure that they have a clear path and most of all immunity from prosecution when it comes to reckless and dangerous driving at demonish speeds which none of our youngsters prosecuted for speeding have never dreamed of.

I expect that them to be lightning fast with their multimillion dollar salaries. I also expect them when it comes to taking responsibility, they will be fast to shift blame. [Recall Mas Selamat Kastari] Given the examples herein, I dare not venture to guess how quick they can be in problem solving. My guess is the entire cabinet (men and woman) will be quick to shut up. And before you know it, poor old MM will be implored again to take the stand and assert the soundness of this reckless adventure.

And that’s not all.

In diving headlong into F1 racing in the middle of our crowded city, I cannot help but contrast the mismanaged handling of a young racing talent which Singapore had, which in stubbornly and stupidly insisting on his return to serve national service when the kid was doing extremely well in the racing circuits in Australia. The kid, if i remember correctly, gave up Singapore citizenship as a result.

In these examples, we can see how fast the administration comes to adopting conflicting stances and does quick about-turns without actually using their brains when a mistake is discovered late. Besotted with vain attempts of self-glorification at the expense of Singaporeans.

A friend peering over my shoulder remarked that the last line seemed to be a little strong. I gave him my middle finger and told him to fuck off.

Too strong? Here comes what is really strong.

Now we all have been given the revelation that the last year’s F1 has been a big fixed show – a great wayang in fact. Now this match fixing reminds me of match fixing for our Malaysia Cup matches. The is always this tendency for big spectacles in Singapore to be nothing than just a show. This only proves that foreigners do play fast and loose with the Singapore Government when it lowers itself so much to them, becoming ever too welcoming and ever too willing to please.

Does this then show the Singapore Government to be nothing less than a grovelling foreigner lover?

In view of all of the above, one might wonder, does the show actually only start on 25th September and ends on the 27th September?

Is it restricted to just the circuit? Is the stage really much bigger than we can actually imagine [and yes bigger than the stupid floating one in marina bay]?

And of course, could the show have been playing for quite some time now? maybe 44 years?

Kwik Updates Just before Bleakfast :)

I know…. i have been procrastinating. I have not been diligent in updating my blog. I have also procrastinated on many things which ought to be addressed first thing upon return to Singapore.

Back from 3 week plus plus in the States and i found a mountain of work waiting for me to address. Some i managed to resolve and some are still gnawing at me.

I have noted that i have had to eat before Jufrie on 3 separate occasions without the liberty of offering him a meal. He was on his Ramadan fasting. He did slim down abit. Gulping down my food, it made me wonder if i should do the Ramadan fast as well.

I heard from some quarters that concerned readers were worried about what i was going through…. and since the blog was stagnant…. speculations were rife as to what had happened to me.

Well its not the end of the world…. though it is also not a walk in the park.

I had in the short period from which i came back, had to address countless matters. Jump several times at the alarm clock that does not seem to work. be asleep by 8pm and wake up at odd hours…..

I had to tend to the sale of the faulty Suzuki GSXR400… yes it broke down again… this time i gave up. I cut my losses and sold it off for a song. There were 4 buyers and of course only 1 was successful. The other 3 could not believe how fast i closed the deal.

Right off from a sportster, i got myself a kup – a Honda Sonic 125. Abit rough and tiny but nevertheless a fine kup. I probably had it for 2 weeks, sent it for servicing tune up and repair then decided that the kup is not for me so therefore again the bike was sold. Same thing…. several buyers, only one successful. The kup certainly left my hands in much better shape than when i first got hold of it.
Can you imagine…. when it came  it did not even have working mirrors for me to view my rear… on 3 occasions i took it out in the morning intending to ride to office. On all those 3 occasions, i dropped my balls somewhere along the road leading to the expressway, i took the nearest exit and turned for home. I ended up on my trusty steed the Shadow 400 – she did not fail me.

Interestingly, during the short period which i had my kup, i think the shadow girl got jealous… i could swear i smelt something burning near the engine after the usual short rides. Yesterday i sold my kup to a 19 year old girl. She was happy with the purchase. I was happy to let it go. AND INTERESTINGLY, my Shadow was happy too… i rode her this morning … and i rode her HARD…. and hey no burning smell!

My mum says i am wasting money with the bike changing. To me its a part of a learning process “how on earth are you not to know that a kup is not for you, unless you ride a kup?”. For her, she says the riding part need not necessarily entail the need to buy it and then repair and sell it later.

In any event, i think am doing a good deed. Recirculated bikes are good for the planet and the environment. Is it not the in thing to go green these days?

Other than the bikescapades , I have been arranging for social meetings which never seem to get anywhere.

Drafting thank you emails which never get sent. Having half completed blogposts cluttering the dashboard.

I did manage to find a little peace with myself. Right into my 2nd day alone in the Washington Hotel, I finally found the urge to practise a little yoga. It was like almost 3 years before did i even try yoga. When i came back, i let go of my Suzuki, and 2 lesser naim amps went out of the house. I have been packing my room with some progress. I think this time round i will succeed. I should be able to trek close to an ascetic lifestyle free from possessions soon. Save for the bikes in the garage.

An esteemed friend (who i shall not name) saw me yesterday and the first thing he asked me was if i would still be doing the things i do. Well he jolted me up from a stupor which has plagued me for a little while. That set me thinking. I guess he did read my blog as well. So therefore i told myself last night that i should no longer remain a disappointment.

Right now, its Friday morning and i….  i decided to force myself write so that this page would not go not updated again for another day. These updates are written at breakneck pace… within 40 minutes i guess. I am rushing for breakfast…. so forgive the errors, i will correct them as soon as i can. As i am completing my final lines i cannot help but get reminded of an old joke.

The joke goes…. an old minister was asked when would he choose to hold the elections, he replied just ‘just before bleakfast”.

St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Another day of travelling brought me to St. Louis Missouri.

This was a bustling but sprawling city from the olden days.

It is home where the wagons set off westwards to inhabit the west coast.

Home of Lockheed Martin, McDonnell Douglas and many other companies.

I saw the Missouri National Guard Base this morning from a distance, I could make out the outline of a single grey coloured F-4E Phantom on the base.

There are many things to write about Missouri but i need time to gather my thoughts, as it is the programme was more than waht i expected. There are things and perspectives which i have not known were possible and imagined.

Too many thoughts to sort out before i can write coherently and also too many old movies to watch in the hotel room tv to be writing diligently.

Till the next time i get online.

American Vision, Leadership & Compassion – Food for Singaporean Thought on 9th August 2009

Right now is nearly 4pm on 8th August 2009 in Florida, USA. It is 4am on 9th August 2009 in Singapore. Its our national day – our nation’s birthday. I am in my hotel’s internet room  sitting out our Florida beach visit as I am experiencing a headache from a morning of gardening under the hot sun.

As part of the State Department’s programme, I had participated in a  sampling of community service work at Safe Harbour, Jacksonville, Florida.

Another reason which made me sit out the beach visit and forgo the Florida Beach Babes was this compulsion to pay tribute to the things I have seen.

Being given the opportunity to immerse myself in selected aspects of American life and society, i cannot help but see the stark differences between Singaporean and American society.

Safe Habour is a home set up for troubled boys and has been around for 25 years. Safe Harbour is really actually a real harbour located in a humble spot in Jacksonville, Florida.

The single storey buildings were very modest - the buildings were in bad shape when they were acquired and had been manually rebuilt by hand by their owner Doug and his wards with donated materials. The entire home had none of the extravagance that we find in some Singapore charities.

Troubled boys in their teens are sent to Safe Harbour to be educated. In Safe Harbour, they are taught diligence, thrift and problem solving skills.

Moored beside the wharf are a number of disused boats. Each boy stays on one boat by himself. These boats were donated by other Americans and are the subject for the boys’ learning and also double up as the personal home for each of the boys. Hands on work is a daily routine. The boys are guided to repair and improve their boats which would be theirs to keep when they are ready to leave.

The founder of Safe Harbour is Doug and his wife. Doug was in mainstream business previously. He was the owner of a company in the electronics and robotics business and he had pioneered certain concepts in digital transmission technology in acoustics, in particular the concept of transmission of sounds to the inner ear.

How did Safe Harbour get started?

Having made enough money to retire, Doug and his wife has sold their home and business and bought a yacht intending to travel the world as part of their retirement dream.

A local Judge had then asked Doug to take in 3 kids as a favour for the county’s juvenile homes were full. The couple agreed and took three boys  to live on board the yacht with them. This led to what became their second calling and to setting up Safe Harbour.

At the outset, Doug and his wife selflessly funded Safe Harbour with their savings. When that ran out, fundraising became a necessity. This they did with some success given their impeccable track record of rehabilitation which was the best in the USA.

Help also came from the local government and community. Safe Harbour was given a lease for the land from the local government at USD$1 per year for something like 50 years. Some kind donor purchased an adjoining property and turned it into a donation.

Safe Harbour’s wards grew up to be useful members of society. One of the boys grew up to be successful, entered politics and was elected into public office. Safe Harbour’s success was so impressive that the Hallmark Channel was inspired enough to shoot a movie based on their story.

The movie, however, had an unintended effect. Donors thinking that Safe Harbour must have made a bundle because of granting rights to Hallmark to make the movie cancelled their standing donations. The reduction in income was further worsened by the recent economic crisis which led many others to stop their donations.

Operating now on a very tight shoestring budget, Doug and his wife no longer employ any staff. Its just the couple and some volunteer staff who share their values and who choose to contribute without pay.

Doug spoke to us of having come full circle, starting out with little and now back to continuing with little. Nevertheless he remains undaunted and selfless. Admitting to experiencing frustrations of his work at times but was re-energised by timely letters of gratitude from his past wards and wives thanking Safe Harbour for the critical thinking, character and work ethic their husbands possessed.

Doug humbly and wisely interprets his setbacks in capacity to be the opportunity for him to personally spend quality time with the boys whom he is supposed to act as father figure.

Doug’s sincerely believes that he plays his part to make the world a better place saving one kid at a time. Indeed waves start out as ripples. 

What compelled Doug and his wife, who were wealthy enough to retire on their savings and enjoy life, to set up and run a voluntary welfare organisation and make perform the best teen reformation record  in the USA?

People shown compassion by the system in the past now return to society the favour. Doug had been a troubled kid in his early years and he got into trouble but a local county Judge chose to give him a second chance. Therefore when Doug was requested to assist in reforming three troubled teens, he rose to the occasion and did not shy away from what was needed to be done.

Over the past week, our delegation was exposed to a multitude of American non-profit NGOs (Non-Governmental Organisations). Where individuals choose to work for little pay to further the causes which they believe in and people are encouraged to get organised to lobby and fight for the causes which they believe in.

At th end of my first week here, I am touched and humbled by the vision, leadership, compassion, humility and self-sacrifice present in the US Government and the American people i have met.

It makes me wonder how much such compassion, kindness, wisdom, vision and self-sacrifice that is so trademarkly American could have contributed undoubtedly to their progress as a nation and their nation’s position as a world leader and superpower for the last six and a half decades or so.

Whereas Singapore’s model is based on a one size fits all policy yet some are more equal than others, a i-know-best attitude, practicality chosen over morals, arrogance chosen over humility, one strike and you are out – no second chance, system intolerant of differences, a government which is deliberately divisive and conniving to the point where the promotion of a cause can be outlawed by legislation, and a leadership personifying the epitome of selfishness and which has rubbed off onto our people.

The United States of America is a Federation of 50 autonomous countries with different laws and governments and systems. They are, however, steadfastly united by the framework provided by their Federal Government and have rights enshrined in constitutional documents and respected by one and all – the Executive, the Legislature and the Judiciary and the people.

As it is, people all around the world seek to make the United States their home whereas many of my fellow Singaporeans whom i have spoken to question the effectiveness of my lonely fight against the establishment and express the intention to flee instead of fight when given the choice.

The United States might be facing severe problems for now but as theirs is a society with compassion, respect for the individual, leadership and immense depth. I have little doubt USA will ride out the rough times to bounce back stronger.

As for Singapore as a nation, in its 44th National Day today, from the way it is going, i am sadly confident that we are doomed to fail.

Running Elections – The Florida Way

We took two flights to reach Jacksonville Florida, USA on 6th August 2009.

Florida was the swing state in the 2000 Presidential elections where George Bush beat Al Gore by a narrow margin winning him all the electoral college votes which was crucial in securing the electoral votes needed for a victory in the Presidential election. The narrow fight and the intrinsic imperfection of the electoral college votes made the manner in which the elections were held and the way votes are counted, tabulated and arbitrated extremely important. As such, tiny Singapore has many things to learn from the Elections Supervisory of the State of Florida.

United States is made up of 50 different countries, a number of autonomous Indian Nations and headed by a Federal Government restrained by the Constitution.

The Constitution sets out the basic and fundamental law of the Federation and whilst the States are autonomous they are similarly restrained by the same Constitution.

I managed to purchase the Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States of America. Those reproductions made to look like the original made me think how different the Constitution is treated by the Americans and how our people and government treat our own.

In the USA, the 3 documents abovementioned have a cult status. They can be reproduced in booklet form, harcover form, parchment form, paraphernalia form and sold for good money – and it sells!

Whereas in Singapore, from the way our legislature, executive, judiciary and people treated our own constitution, our constitution probably is not worth the paper it is printed on – having been trampled upon, soiled and defecated upon by the administration. It probably is not even worth its equivalent weight in amount of toilet paper. Has one ever wondered whether our administration has even half the balls to take up the challenge of printing the Constitution of the Republic of Singapore and marketing it to the Singapore people?

The system of electoral college votes is flawed. Nevertheless this cannot detract observers from appreciating the beauty of the constitution as a whole.

In politics throughout the world, there will be politics designed to keep the elected in power. The American system strives consciously to prevent so. Their system is not perfect – it has been emphasised to us repeatedly over and over again and inevitably there will be areas for improvement.

The system of electoral college votes may at times result in the candidate having the popular vote not having the victory in the election and is arguably flawed, this system has served United States in the manner that it has had, in its context it might have still worked perhaps simply because there has been so many other safeguards that the original founding fathers had placed in the constitution. They also had amendments made to fortify the fundamental freedoms that allow the system to withstand the failure and imperfection of men.

The experience in 2000 caused the Florida Elections Supervisory to revamp much of its election processes. What has been put in place now is a system and protocol of efficiency and transparency that impresses every visitor who is explained the works.

Mr. Jerry Holland, Supervisor of Elections has put in place a system which arguably moves towards fairness and transparency. His belief is the elections process must preserve the trust and faith of the electorate. This must be so for the system to retain its relevance and perform its purposes.

We witnessed electronic counting systems which correctly integrate both voting by mail [in advance] and numberless ballot papers which are accurately sorted out by an electronic counting system which leaves a paper trail. This instilled confidence in their voters and left our delegation with breathless admiration.

The details of the superiority of the Florida’s Election system will be addressed in a later post if time permits but as it is now it suffices to say that the Singapore Elections Department, continuing the way it has under the stewardship of the Prime Minister will continue to erode the confidence of the people of Singapore. The lack of transparency in the manner which the elections are held will erode the confidence of the people and be detrimental to Singapore as a whole in the long run.

We are also repeatedly told that should the elections results fail to express the expectations of the people, then the system is undeniably flawed and would have failed.